One Perfect Gift For Mother's Day

I have just hung up the phone talking to one of my best friends, while we talked about her work suddenly she laughed, I asked why she told me that her 4 years old was practicing the song “Kasih Ibu”, but he forgot and changed the word “surya” to “surga” so that paragraph become “bagai sang surga (instead of surya) menyinari dunia,” I also laugh and realize that the Mother’s Day is on its way again. Mother’s Day always bring tears to my eyes, cause it always reminds me of my mother who died more than a decade ago, but the pain is persisted as if it just happened yesterday afternoon. Actually I am not so close to my mother, cause I have been busy with my works and my life outside our home, but then when she has gone, I have just realized how much she mean to me and how much she have done to me so that I could find my own place in this cynical place called the Earth.

Thingking about the sacrifice and honor that million of mothers have done in this world, I always fantasize that the celebration of the new year should instead be given to the celebration of the Mother’s Day. All the noisy sounds out of those paper trumpets, expensive late night parties at five stars hotels, the count down at the Times square I saw in my cable, and all those balloon cut out loose to the air are actually belong to the Mother’s Day, and be given and present in the honor of all mothers in the world. The huge celebration which should be presented to all mothers, not only our own mother, but the mother of all children which are all around us and someone taking care of other who even not their own children, like my sister in-law who taking care of me while I am sick.

Even I dream and hope about it, I am not a mother yet. But I have seen my mom, my sister, my sister in-law, my colleague, my friends, my maid even women I saw riding in a crowded bike with her baby and toddler on the street trying so hard to fit in into the role of a mother. The one particular honorable role that keep being forgotten, since just like an oxygen which is all around us and keeps us alive, but it is inevitably invisible and always submerged and buried in the ordinariness and mundane reality of life that we have.
A role that start from their role in bearing and bring a new life to this world, where on a particular day a new tiny human being breadth the air for the first time up till the adulthood problems conquer and seized the rooms of our thoughts. The heavy task and reality which consume most of their time and took away their own identity and self actualization, patient and heart, and most of the time with nothing is expected in return than loves. Sometimes if I saw someone disrespect their mother, a thought cross my mind, that even my household maid is luckier than that mother cause at least she got minimum wages plus THR, weekend off, Eid Mubarak holiday and even the right to resign and find a new better household to work for, while this one who has to work for free all her life could not get anything from someone that she has given up her life for not even a love and respect that she deserved.

The role sometimes invisible to the naked eyes, but through it has transformed so many ordinary children to become someone that can makes a difference. There are thousands or maybe millions of them and all are in unity all thanks their mother of what they achieved. Many of them succeed because of what their mother made them believe that they can do it and their gratefulness reflects in things they said about their mother. There are hundreds of quotes, but my favorite one are those From Picasso who said “when I was a child, my mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general. If you become a monk you'll end up as the pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso” and from Harry Truman “No one in the world can take the place of your mother. Right or wrong, from her viewpoint you are always right. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones”.

Another quote I read that open my eyes to a role of a mother in our live, the one said that the term “working mother” is redundant. I respect all the stayed home mom who has their plate full of taking care of their children and give up her life for them, but since I belong to the herds of million working woman who has to make their own living, I have this special sympathy, a huge one to a mom who also makes a living as well. A multitask demanding position that would need not attract any of job applicant, even with an attractive compensation plus other types of loan facility and health insurance package. I saw my pregnant colleague fighting back the uneasiness of carrying the unborn each and everyday while she has to attend and concentrate in hours of late meeting, let alone doing various errands around the office. One day when we have to work so late at night, I saw her dropped a paper from the printer and almost in tears trying to pick it up.

Then the maternity leaves time is up, and it is time for her to try finding a substitute mother for her new unborn. A good friend called me just about a week before she has to go back to her office, crying because she is not sure to leave her baby in the hands of a stranger, whom she just meet about a week ago, and her worry about “what ifs” long list of them…and she kept blaming herself of being unable to take care of her own child. But she knew too that she has to work to support her family. The guilt and remorse saga continue, as I often overheard a friend lamenting about feeling so bad to arrive home after being stuck for hours in the heavy congested traffic back to their suburban home, and finding their baby already asleep not seeing her mom the whole day or to let the nanny and driver took the baby to the doctor cause she is unable to cancel a meeting.

As time goes by, I saw the struggle they have to go through and deal with at all the times. While the boss and the client breathing down our neck and chase us like there is no tomorrow, I overheard a mother gluing her ear to a telephone arguing with her eight year old who things that his teacher would understand if he forget to do his homework just for tonight or a friend who took all the blame and icy look from her boss for coming late to the office after meeting the teacher of her seven years old son who is being alleged of teasing his friends to tears for calling many of his friend “kucing garong” because of the song that he heard from a TV show or another friend who worried to sick finding out that her daughter forgot to tell her about the coming examination that she should have prepared for. All of them have so many balls up in the air and they keep trying not to drop any one of it…cause they have to in order to survive their live and their children.

I once wondering how long it lasts the love of mothers to us, I found the answer by the way my mom used to look at me every time I saw her and the look of other moms to their children, no matter how old their children has become or no matter how busy their children with the life of their own and most of the time forgotten about her. Even in the look of my colleague who scolded her son for making his little brother crawled all over our library just for fun. I met a mother of a friend who started planning where the daughter of her son should go to school in 20 years to come. These all reflects that there is no stop of love of mothers to us to our children, it flows like the river of lives, and will only come to a halt and gone when they have gone forever and leaving this immortal life behind.

Just like the flows of their love which is so everlasting, a mother actually deserves our full love in return not only on the particular date of Mothers Day, but each and every day. Maybe that’s the reason why unlike some other holidays, mothers’ day is being celebrated on different days in various countries, from the second day of February in Norway, second week of May in the United States to December 22 in Indonesia. While historically England holds the honor as the first country which set aside a day as Mothers Day, but to date almost all countries in the world have recognized and spare a day in each year to appreciate Mothers. A day where not only to make a mother feel so special but also the particular day we can redeem our neglects to appreciate the unconditional love that makes us feel so special even when the things gets wrong and the life twisted from the hope we have. I love the idea that mothers day fall on various different days, so that there are many days that will make us remember about their loves and the fact that it will always be all around us each and everyday.

While the commercialism of mothers days has chocked us all over, and tempted us to trade off the love that she gave us with so many expensive things to be showed off. But they deserve more than that, they deserve more than thousands of pricy impersonal things behind the glass windows in the shopping malls. I always remember the things said by so many unfortunate children whose parents are very busy, that they if only a have choice it is not the nice clothes or things which they may prefer but just a spare time where they can spend together with them. I always amaze of how my eight years old nephew always looks forward to a weekend and sacrifice his session playing Play Station so that he can be just at home with his parents. As my memory flows back to my childhood where it was time and attention that my mother showered all over me all the time and made feel so special no matter who I am. Then I thought that maybe these are the perfect gifts for them that she deserved for all hard work she has done. A gift can not be bought over the counter and for a price, but will reflect what she deserved. A time to spare to be with her, and attention for her to hear her story, to cook for her, and to thank her for what she has done to me and makes her feel that she is so special and she realize that it is her love that make us survive so far.